Getting with the (weight loss) program

Recently I made a renewed resolution to myself that I had to lose weight.  Lots of weight.

It wasn’t a New Year’s Resolution, because when I thought about making it that sort of resolution, the pessimistic voice in my head said, “Sure.  You’re really going to resolve to lose weight this year, like just how many years in the past?”

Which made me cringe and feel a bit guilty, but unfortunately the “bad voice” was right: Clearly I was going to have to do something other than the same old things that have never worked, and making a New Year’s Resolution probably fell under the category of “same old.” 

I was tempted, of course, to deny this instinct with war cries of “This time I am committed!  I will have more willpower!  I won’t give up!  I will give up all carbs and work out every single day for an hour, even if I’m sick!” and armed with more self-help weight loss and exercise books/websites than can possibly be healthy. 

But this time, I simply had to concede that my internal pessimist was right.

Thank you, “bad voice.”  lol.

You know the saying, “If you do what you’ve always done, you’ll get what you’ve always gotten”?  Well, there you go.  This year, instead of a New Year’s Resolution, I’m trying new things to work towards my own quiet internal resolution.     

Call it my inner commitment to change, if you will. 

Regardless of what you want to call it, whatever I’m doing feels a little better than the January resolution approach, maybe because I don’t feel like I’m fighting the same battle in a war that I always seem to lose.  I’m not just riding on the momentum and enthusiasm of starting something; I’m starting the beginning of a long effort to make a number of changes, changes I know will not be easy. 

This year, I’m in it for the long haul, and I’m not expecting the New Year to give me one more ounce of motivation than I otherwise would have had.

Yes, I meant it when I said that I wanted to lose weight the past 8 years, but this year I’m willing to make sacrifices and suffer to get there.  This year I know it will be hard, but I’m committed to doing it no matter what.  Because I’m sick and tired of making the same resolution year after year and the reasons to lose weight keep piling up. 

It’s embarrassing to admit it, but I’m well over 50 pounds overweight, and worrying about it has done nothing but make me fatter.  Clearly, I have to do something different this time around if I’m going to have a shot at success.

And succeed I will.

Since this is, after all, a sleep blog, it seems appropriate to mention that this year I’m adding sleep related reasons to the (very long) list of reasons to lose weight.  I have mild Sleep Apnea, and we all know that being overweight is bad for Sleep Apnea. 

I’ve also been thinking: if being overweight supposedly makes non-Narcoleptics have less energy, surely a Narcoleptic like me that already struggles with energy issues would notice an increase in energy if she lost weight?

I’m hoping the answer is yes, even though whatever I have to do to lose weight will be worth it regardless if it gives me more energy.  I’ve gained over 50 pounds (something that had never happened to me before) in the 3.5 years since I stopped Xyrem, and I think it’s about time that the ridiculousness stop.  I’ve generally struggled with my weight since I was diagnosed with Narcolepsy as a child, but it’s only the past few years that I’ve been so overweight, and I owe it to myself to stop the bleeding, so to speak.

Has anyone else struggled with their weight since getting Narcolepsy?  Is anyone else trying to lose a lot of weight?

I know that many Narcoleptics struggle with their weight, so I thought that some of you might like to follow my weight loss efforts…    

As always, thanks for listening!