Making changes (focusing on the “multiplying effects” of one change)

 

Today, I had a moment of creative brilliance while dragging myself through the frozen over snow and salty, sandy mess formerly known as the sidewalk to go to the co-working place.

I was thinking about how I should have been able to drag myself to this awesome co-working place more than twice in the past few months, and I was trying to think of ways to get myself to go there more often and make other changes, such as keeping my kitchen clean, when I came up with an idea.  What if, instead of trying (and often failing) to get myself to make some important changes in my life everyday (for example, today I will clean my kitchen/keep the kitchen clean) using the same old method of making long lists full of changes I know it will be hard to get myself to do, I tried something new?  What if, instead of trying to use the same old rationales to get myself to do something, I tried a bunch of new ones? 

What if, instead of telling myself I must do xyz today for the same tired reasons that often fail to motivate me, I was able to get myself to make a big change by linking that change to a host of benefits I don’t normally think about?  Maybe, I thought, I would do better to focus on making one change whose benefits would in turn help me to make other changes that would bring even more benefits, as opposed to trying to make a whole bunch of changes at once.  And maybe, just maybe, doing some creative out-of-the- box thinking about the benefits of one change would help motivate me to do the things I have so much trouble accomplishing these days.

Think of it as the domino effect for self-help junkies.  If I could knock down one domino, what other dominos would those dominos knock down?  And what about the dominos that those dominos would in turn knock down?

Are you still with me? :-)

Here is an example: I have a hard time keeping my kitchen clean (an embarrassing admission, but I do my best to be honest :-)).  Every day I tell myself, “today I will make the kitchen perfectly clean.”  However, somehow everyday despite this resolution, I don’t do much to make this happen and the dishes pile up and I feel badly about it. 

Usually I try to motivate myself to clean the kitchen by telling myself that I need to be able to cook, that it’s embarrassing, that my husband and myself will be happier if it’s clean, that as an adult I am expected to have a clean kitchen, that when I have kids I’m going to have to have a clean kitchen and cook a lot, that losing weight isn’t going to be easy if I can’t cook easily, etc.  That’s the old way of thinking.

However, I decided today that maybe I should try a new way of thinking that emphasizes the positive (as opposed to saying, self, you MUST clean or bad things will happen or good things won’t happen!) when it comes to cleaning the kitchen.  We will see if it works.

Here is the new way of thinking, in the form of a list.

“Multiplying effects” of cleaning the kitchen (things I don’t usually think about):"

• Cleaning is not bad exercise, so by cleaning the kitchen I am making a little progress on my goal of getting more exercise and losing weight.
• A better relationship with my husband.  More specifically, no more fights about the kitchen.
• A better relationship with myself.  No more self bashing, worrying and guilt because of the state of my kitchen.
• I can finally make a kitchen windowsill herb garden – and my plants won’t die because they get lost in the kitchen.
• Cooking dinner will be faster because you won’t have to wash stuff first.  (Obvious, but true.)
• Now that I’m feeling better about myself, I will be more likely to have the energy to cook.  This should also help me in all areas of my life – my motivation to do work, my mood, my emotional eating, etc.
• I’ll save money – less wasting of food, no housecleaner needed, etc.
• I can take this off the list of things I feel absolutely terrible about.
• More/better sex.  According to a book I once read, having a sex life like a porn star requires having a clean home.  No, seriously.  lol.
• It takes much less time to keep the kitchen from getting dirty than to clean a messy kitchen.  I’m saving time!
• If I can keep the kitchen clean, it’s feasible that I can start keeping the rest of the apartment clean… and then if I can get over the 4 flights of stairs we have, I can get a dog… Let me repeat, I can get a labradoodle!
• If I have a clean kitchen, I can easily cook good food, which should lead me to lose weight, which will lead to all sorts of other benefits.  i.e. if I want to look great in a bikini, I should clean the kitchen.  lol.

I could go on, but I think I’ll leave it at that.  But basically, cleaning my kitchen would help me with all sorts of other things on my to do list and with all sorts of other areas in my life.  I think that maybe I could come up with some more creative benefits as well if I thought about it more, so maybe I will have to do that.

But Ellie, you say, um, isn’t this supposed to be a sleep blog? 

And yes, it is.  But I was thinking that this strategy could be used not only for kitchen cleaning and other chores but also for making some of those changes that are important for us Narcoleptics.  The ones that come to mind?  Getting up at the same time each day, going to bed at the same time each day, and keeping to less than 30 minutes when taking one of my scheduled naps.

In fact, I’ll even do one of these sleep related ones for you, on one habit that I personally have trouble keeping to.  Here it is below:

The multiplying effects of keeping a regular sleep schedule (going to bed and getting up at the same time every day):

• I’ll sleep less and thus have more time for all the things I want to do.  Regular sleep schedule = bubble baths, painting my toenails, playing computer games, reading, socializing, making homemade dessert, cooking, cleaning (wait, did I just say I want to clean?), working, sex, etc. etc. (be creative)
• I’ll be happier and have a better mood because normally I beat myself up about not doing this.  All of that guilt and worrying about oversleeping- gone! Woah, that’s a big one.
• Because I’ll feel better… I’ll be more able to do all sorts of other not fun things, like exercising and cleaning the kitchen.  And maybe I’ll even sleep better, because these days my dreams disturb me and I think I would sleep better if I felt better.
• I will have fewer migraines (a regular sleep schedule is important for people who get migraines).  Which means I might be able to eat cheddar again!, or at least lay in bed feeling terrible for fewer days each month.
• If I can do this, then surely I can become better with not sleeping too much in my naps.  I will have exercised my willpower, something I can take advantage of in pursuing any other goal I have.
• I’ll admit, I don’t generally feel all that much better when I oversleep or sleep at weird hours.  So I’ll have more energy and feel better with a regular schedule.
• If I sleep less, I will be up and about more, which means a regular sleep schedule will help me lose weight.  Regular sleep schedule = bikini?  (These days I tend to sleep too much rather than too little.)
• If I want to go to the co-working place, I need a regular sleep schedule so I can take advantage of their hours.
• I’ll get more done.  Be honest, self, how much do you get done late at night anyways?  (Not too much.)

And who knows, writing out reasons like this might just help in and of itself, as writing things down is supposed to be more beneficial than just thinking about it.

What do you think?  Anyone care to try this with me?